You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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