i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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