I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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