Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
