I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
