Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
