this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
