No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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