our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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