i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize