That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
