That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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