His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
