We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
