I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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