Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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