I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize