So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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