Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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