What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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