Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
