operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize