omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
