he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize