Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
