HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
