carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
