And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
