you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I understand Curling. That high.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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