That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
