Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
