just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
