THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is Oprah even human
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My feet surprised me
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
