i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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