Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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