I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
