Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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