I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
