Cold hands, warm shart.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
