I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
