tell your sister to shave her snatch
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
