I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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