well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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