I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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