Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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