I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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