And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
