5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
