okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
