He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize