He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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