are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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