that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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