If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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