I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i believe in u and ur pee
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
