Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
