discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
