I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
