you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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